Pretty much the first thing I saw this morning was a message window waiting from bat. There were two words, two words I knew I’d see before I even clicked the window — ‘mom’s gone’. We’ve lost our mother, yo. Not my blood maternal, but the more important built me up and made me feel worthwhile one. I’m still processing a bit, but my usual truism kicks in — she isn’t dead as long as I remember her. And my head is full of fond memories, from silly indulgences during the after-school pick-up, to intelligent conversations on the nature of stupidity/intelligence (versus ignorance/book smarts). She never was upset when I would show up out of the blue to say hi, and I’ll always cherish her telling me how proud of me she was — proud of me for who I was, not for what I could be doing for her. And heh, that’s the one that might get a tear out of me. But really, I’m asking people to avoid telling me that ‘they’re sorry for my loss’ or anything of the like, but hugs are certainly appreciated. There will never be another her, and I’m glad that we could be a part of each other’s lives for these past 20 years and change. I wish that I had gotten in one last Skype chat, if only to have properly said goodbye. I’m not going to beat myself up over it though; she knew/knows I love her.
In brighter news, I’ve finished my hat and it looks effin’ fabulous. I’m currently sewing in the ends, and then… no idea. I guess I should figure out what socks I want to knit. I just finished weaving in the last end, so there’s no particular impediment to that, outside of wanting to slack off tonight. Slacking off is a good thing, hee hee; even if it’s been a short week, it’s been a long week.
I’m hoping that I’m feeling a bit better tomorrow though. I’d suggested to Z that we consider doing a picnic lunch and a spot of geocaching over the weekend, an idea he thought was a good one. So we’ll see. I really rather fervently hope that I can manage ’cause it would be one of those yanno, bonding things or whatever.
Right, gonna go play games and think about wool. Anything to keep the brain and hand busy, yanno?