One of the worst things about having untreated ADHD is that my brain is really good at shutting out processing information that would be useful. For example, I was discussing Pokémon Go with my husband last night, and how I would like to spend a few more pounds to restock my Pokéballs. He approved said purchase (we talk about all our purchases, ’cause respectful) with the caveat that I didn’t make it a weekly thing, but my brain processed it as ‘rah rah rah you are untrustworthy and bad’.
So of course, I talked to him about it this afternoon. About how I ‘sneakily’ spent a few pounds to get more balls, if not the amount that I had originally been signed off on. I told him that I felt like he was treating me like I was untrustworthy, and had made sure to run it through my head a few times before we could talk so I didn’t come out angry and accusatory. I managed to express it politely, he explained to me what he had said that my brain hadn’t processed, and we both left the conversation feeling satisfied.
Now, I feel I should clarify a few things there — he isn’t telling me what I misheard or gaslighting me. He legitimately appreciates that sometimes I don’t process what he’s telling me; it was a fairly recently that we realised that this was an issue for both of us. He has rather low self-esteem, so it was difficult for him to understand that yes, I was looking right at him and making the right responses, but it wasn’t always going in. And, of course, that I wasn’t doing it maliciously. Communication in a relationship is an ongoing thing, and while I sometimes feel that we make it look easy, it is because we have worked hard from a platform of love and respect to make it happen.
Now, I’m sure you guys are wondering about the air conditioner store. Well, that’s where the hot date part comes in — it’s actually a cool date (just like it was cool words — gotcha good ;D). The husband-fellow was booked in to get the air conditioner recharged before we go on holiday, and was going to be taking advantage of the location to do some inspections on behalf of our place of employ.
One of my complaints about our village, and specifically, our nearest Pokéstop, is that it out and out hates me. I can get the internet to connect near it about one in five times. The other Pokéstops in the village are clustered at the other end and not quite as convenient for quickly popping out and back in to grab a few balls. So in going with him to a place a friend has vetted as having a good populace of Pokémon and Pokéstops, I get to try to refill my stock without spending money, which is how Z and I prefer to do things anyways instead of making micro-transactions. Plus, as he pointed out, it means I get to test the a/c when it’s freshly topped up, which will be bliss in this shitty-hot weather.
And when I say shitty-hot, I mean ‘less hot than yesterday, but more humid’. I woke up and it hurt to breathe. I’m from Texas, land of haha good luck breathing. I move to the UK and suddenly it’s my turn to suffah! *chuckles* I had to abandon my plans for an early morning walk with the little one, though the whole fam did manage to get out for one before dinner. *flex*
Right, tomorrow is going to be an early day, so I am going to scoot off and do some of my morning writing in advance.