The Lady Waits

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Today has been a mixed bag. I woke up and found out that someone had died that was, to me, a problematic person. I knew she was going to die any time for the past decade or so, so her actually dying wasn’t a shock to my system. After all, my stepfather has been terminally ill for like, 30 years and is still alive. I made my peace with him passing before I turned 10, so that’s sort of my pre-loaded pathos for the situation. Having said that, the wellspring of memorial on my Facebook wall was very triggering, because this person was not a safe person to have in my life because she was incredibly ableist against the mentally ill. Thankfully, Social Fixer enables filtering, so all my friends who are mourning her can mourn without me panicking and writing an essay and slapping it on my wall about how problematic she was.

As I said to a friend on Twitter — I think that if I wasn’t mentally ill, I would have probably been able to continue on just fine with her. But her attitude was really negative and unbending, with a hefty dose of concern trolling, the latter of which being the final straw that caused me to cut her off finally and for good some years back –she’d posted something about taking psych meds in pregnancy and how it was bad for babies and claimed it to be very scientific, but it was full of BS hemming, hawing, and not science. I was pregnant at the time, so… (not that anyone knew ’cause I wasn’t talking about it, but still) Obviously, I respect that my friends are legit grieving and will miss her and didn’t have to deal with that side of her, so I’ll keep this little babble here, aside. *nodnods*

New toy!

So there was that, and then there was the normal workday things. Littler and I had fun, I got a couple of year end reconciliations processed, and nothing was set on fire. I set aside the third one I was working on because it was a bit of a mess, but I figured it would be. I’m just glad that I made some progress without having to tap into office time too much; everyone there has more than enough to do as-is.

I also got a new toy in the mail today — a 9″ circular needle for knitting small things. In this case, I’m trialling it for my sock knitting. I can do DPNs and well, but I am all about learning new ways of doing the things… I say as I continue to stick to basic-level knitting, ha ha. I’m terrified of doing charted, though I will get there sooner rather than later. But the actual mechanics of basic knitting, and finding what tools I like best is fun. I’ve only done a couple of rows so far, but I am finding it pretty easy to do after the first row or so. My hands are cramping slightly because I’m not used to working the needles that tiny-close together, but I’m charmed by it at this early stage.

I’m also laughing at myself ’cause I have lots of mini-projects on my desk now. I’ve got a square behind my keyboard. I’ve got the needles I use for tiny hats stuck into a skein of wool on my desk, waiting to be put to use. I’ve got that toy kit that I almost feel like digging out and doing. And now, these socks for Littlerbit. But that’s okay too. It’s sort of nice to not have any big projects on the go.

Yeah yeah yeah, I know. I’m out.

<3

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