Today has been a productive day in the world of knitting. Otherwise, it’s been another sod all ’cause of feeling dizzy and crap.
And well, not knitting exactly, but more sewing. I did have to knit a couple of rows after picking up the neckline. Again. At least it wasn’t so bad the second time around, though it wasn’t great having to do it again either. Still, lookit — pretty nice, non?
So yes, did that, and got the sides sewn up. I was surprised and pleased that while the shoulder seams didn’t come out a 100% match, the sides did. I didn’t expect that for some reason. But they did and I’m super happy about it. It doesn’t offset my annoyance that I still have stitches to pick up (armholes), as well as tidying up all the loose ends, but anyways. At least it’s almost said and done. I doubt it will be finished tomorrow, but hopefully the day after.
I continue to be frustrated that my brain is so freaking dead empty past that, but oh well. I can’t force it. It’s like… *waves hands* There was this article I read earlier today:
‘I Thought I Was Stupid’: The Hidden Struggle for Women with ADHD
I’d posted it on Facebook, and one of my friends had commented about fog. And it sort of hit me — I was in the fog then too. I remember the few times I got my hands on a friend’s Dexedrine in high school. I was alert, I was awake, I was focused. I even admitted to this illicit access to my psychiatrist in trying to emphasize how long the problem has been going on for. Well, she takes it seriously, but as they’re not allowed to officially diagnose it outside of a specialist unit in London, I can’t get meds. The article also pointed out a lot of the bitterness that people feel at lost years. I try really freaking hard to not feel that way, but it’s hard. I just want a freaking quality of life. Even if I grew up being pressured into accepting that I didn’t (bullshit), I’m happy to fight for my due as best I can.