Slap a Ribbon ‘Round It

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jfrdrsiaI still need to get it shoved into a bubble mailer, all the knitty bits are lovingly folded around each other and prettily packaged. Oh okay, the tissue paper under and around the ribbon tore a bit ’cause I was probably pulling the bow too tight, but whatever. It’s done, it looks nice from a distance, etc. And if you see under it, I’m back to working on a project that I meant to finish before the holiday, but never mind. I’ll get it done now, and then… then I’ll figure out what else I’m doing. I suspect I will be doing another little green cardigan for a friend in the States who is expecting a baby later this year, but otherwise, I’m quite happy to let wool accumulate. I’m pretty happy to think of turning all that I bought yesterday into sweaters… but not planning yet. I can just relish the possibility for now. 😀

s-l500Now, another thing I can relish is something coming in the post very soon. Why yes, it’s a PokéWalker! Z was looking around on eBay at assorted things and saw one with a few hours left on it. I’m not gonna lie — in the last couple of minutes I thought we were going to lose it, but we didn’t. I like… I have a hard time finding the words to express my joy, because finding these little fuckers are like finding gold in the toilet. I’ve lost count of how many friends have had more than one due to having both HeartGold and SoulSilver and having lost the spare, or given it back to a game shop, or something in that vein. I’d asked around in town to see if anyone had one hiding in the back, but they confirmed what we already knew — that the disappear as soon as they show up because they are so freaking hard to get ahold of. It’s totally going to be worth the frustration of trying my way through HeartGold again once I’ve got this little bibbler, hee hee. Or at least I can tell myself that now!

What else, what else. I didn’t mention it yesterday, but I was feeling a bit vulnerable after making my post on Friday. A part of me feels that maybe it would have been better and safer to post it in a more locked down location. And then I reminded myself that I am allowed to have ‘negative’/’bad’ feelings, and that they are totally valid. Yeah okay, also valid is the fear that I’m going to invite narcissistic injury. I’ve spent so much of my life having it ground into me that I have to keep up appearances, that I have to cater to the emotional needs of people who are supposed to be doing that job for me, etc. So even now, even years after I cut them off, I still have flashes of panic and worry that I have to justify how I am feeling//assuage their potential feelings. It’s no way to live, hence me not living that life anymore.

Anyhoos. Doot doot doot.

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